What to ask A Potential Au Pair

This is going to be an ongoing work as I try to recall all the important details from my head. As I speak to many of you on the phone and via email I am reminded of more important information and will try and update as I go along. Keep in mind this is my opinion only and just a guideline of things for you to consider. There truly are many variables for interviewing an Au Pair but I am going to start with the basics drawn from my personal experience.

• When you read the letter to the potential HOST FAMILY look for the words 'love' or similar terms of endearment. Listen to them when they speak and see if you can hear the love in their communication with you. This is not to be confused with loving America or living in America!


• Are they living at home? Who all lives in the home?


• Have they ever traveled away from home and how long were they away? How did they handle it? Be honest when you speak to them. If you really talk to them about homesickness I have found that most of them are pretty honest. If they can identify the fact that they might get homesick listen to them and see if they have a solution within themselves to handle it. Recognizing and voicing this concern is a sign of honesty and maturity in my humble opinion and opens a door for serious discussion.


• How many brothers and sisters do they have? You can find this out on your own but follow up with the relationship they have with them. If they have several younger siblings chances are really good that they have been involved with care taking in a loving environment and know how important the task of childcare is.


• DO they have a boyfriend? THIS IS A BIGGIE and quite tricky.
  
  
  
  • Let's assume they do have a boyfriend at home. The most common answer following this question is, "we are both o.k. with my being in the U.S, we have a solid or open relationship" Hmmmm, now let's think about this for a moment. If you were away from a boyfriend for a year would you be homesick for him? Would you want to see him while you were away? How would your phone bill look after several months? Would you be on the computer for hours sending emails or IM's to him?
  
  
  • Let's assume they say they don't have a boyfriend at home? Are they looking for one? Would they be interested in finding one if they were in the United States?
    


• How do they spend there spare time? Look for ones that enjoy the same things that you do as a family. Be cautious to identify those that spend their time at parties and dance halls in all of their spare time. I am not suggesting that you pick someone that absolutely does not go out and socialize. Quite the contrary, there have been girls that sit at home and sulk and then become unhappy. You need to find a good balance.


• Do they currently have a curfew? How would they handle a curfew if one were put on them? Be up front with them so that they too can decide if they want to be in a family that will have certain limitations.


• Can they drive a car? BE SO CAREFUL with this one. Many girls say they can drive but it is so important that you ask them how much they drive and how long they have had a drivers license. It is not that they are trying to deceive you but in other countries driving is not necessary and they just don't have a lot of experience. If you are going to require someone that will be driving a lot this is pertinent to you. BUT, if you absolutely fall in love with the girl, look into private driving school for them, they could end up being a better driver than yourself!


• Be sure and tell them about your family and let them ask you questions. You want them to ask you questions in order for them to get to know you and feel comfortable about the possibility of spending a year with you. Here is an example of a question that might send up a red flag:
  
  
  
  • "Exactly how many hours do I have to work?" Think about this question, 'have' to 'work', those are 2 signals that they may see this as just a job and not an opportunity to become a part of your family. Most certainly girls will be concerned about their responsibilities and when, where, what they are expected to do. But it is different. Most girls will ask a very important question instead, "Will you have a schedule for me?"


• Smoking and Drinking question- This is a tough one depending on you as a host family. Many girls will indeed fib they do not smoke OR will make a valiant effort to quite before coming here. It is up to you if you will allow them to smoke outside of your home, but be very up front with them before bringing them here about your position in regard to smoking and drinking.


• Religion- This is even a tougher subject to touch on and this is also up to the individual families. One thing that I will say is, in my opinion, that if you choose a girl that is committed to her religious beliefs that you respect them and allow her to participate in all of the activities that she deems important within that organization. It can only help her become tied to your community and find friends and support that she will desperately desire. Many girls are very open to attending different Churches and may even branch out on their own to seek a place they feel most comfortable but do not push them to accept your beliefs.


• Do they enjoy pets? This is not a deciding factor necessarily BUT if they absolutely despise them then you might want to reconsider. Most girls that say they don't like them only say this because they haven't been around them and are not used to the way Americans treat animals as valued pets. Many of them end up becoming quite attached to them by the time they go home!
  
  
• Do they speak fluent English? This is not a trick question! Many girls have had years of English as a second language and this should be taken into consideration because although they may not speak well on the phone does not mean that they won't adapt to English quite well. Many girls with heavy English courses will pick up on the language quite quickly! They just need time to adjust their thought process and get used to speaking it on a daily basis. It is difficult to hold onto the language when you have no one to practice it with in your country of origin. With that being said, those who have had little English and you truly have difficulty understanding them, may have problems adjusting.
  

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions at info@babyfindit.com
I hope you find this helpful and a place to start. It is by no means complete but gives you a guidleine to help assist you with your interview.